The Bucket List Project

A Listening Ear is a befriending charity which was founded in 2020 as a response to Lockdown in Stranraer.  Over the years the service has developed a variety of befriending support services including Telephone, Group, One to One for Care Home Residents and No One Dies Alone end of life companionship over the last 3 days of someone’s life.  We now have 70 volunteers supporting 100 people across our huge,  remote region very successfully. 

During this time, we have become aware of the poverty many people live with on a day-to-day basis, which is why for several years we have offered the people we support in the West shopping vouchers in the lead up to Christmas. This is funded every year by another great community service called Wigtown Community Shop.  We know anecdotally that in some cases this small but vital measure of support means they can keep their heating on for a while longer over Christmas. We are now looking for funding to cover the cost of providing shopping vouchers for our Phone Friends regionwide at this time of the year.

We are passionate about improving people’s lives, including those who are living with a terminal diagnosis, which is the reason for our No One Dies Alone service.  My own lived experience caring for my terminally ill parents and other family members coupled with my professional experience as an NHS Board Non Exec resulted in an ongoing special interest in palliative and end of life care and the challenges people experience across a region like ours who are dying. 

Certain areas in our region like the village of Drummore have no direct public transport links available for people who need to attend Dumfries & Galloway Royal Infirmary which is an 180mile round trip from the village, there are many more examples like this. The cost of public transport is increasing and for some people it is a cost they cannot afford.  The evidence also shows that vulnerable people face greater health inequalities when they have to travel distances to access healthcare; this includes people affected by poverty.  Inevitably some people will not be able to access healthcare because they can’t afford the travel costs. I know of an instance where a pensioner paid for a taxi to take to get to hospital over 70 miles away because they had no one to help them.

Depending on where people live, they face extreme transport, housing, cost of heating, access to healthcare, and childcare challenges. The Dying in Poverty Research 2025 carried out by Loughborough University sponsored by Marie Curie, www.mariecurie.org.uk covers all of these poverty issues in detail with recommendations for meeting all of them head on.

One important measure that Manchester City Council has taken is to write off council tax payments for people diagnosed with a terminal illness during the last year of their life once an SR1 form has been produced by their doctor.  This has meant people dying in poverty can free up some of their income, in the last year of their life, by not having to pay council tax and use that money to help with heating costs, new clothes, repairs to their home, cost of a new cooker or washing machine and even childcare. 

Talking about death and dying can be so difficult for so many people. Yet by not doing so we can find ourselves living in a community where we are blind to the needs of those who are dying – particularly those who have nobody. Such blindness becomes exasperated by our discomfort with death and dying because of stigma which makes us impotent in carrying out the necessary dialogue if we are to improve lives. The digital world we live in has created even more inequalities for so many across our communities, yet we don’t know the effect this is having on those whose time to live is severely limited.

In a country like Scotland where the Baby Box was introduced to help all families take their first steps to parenthood, imagine what could be accomplished if we guided that compassion to people who are dying. Taking action to free up council tax to help people in the last year of their lives with childcare, heating and other costs.

As a response to the Dying in Poverty research as well as our own experience at A Listening Ear, we’ve developed a new project called The Bucket List.  The project will raise awareness about what it means to die with dignity, and offer empowering support, friendship and kindness which can be replicated across Scotland.  Our community of Dumfries and Galloway is very rural, stunningly beautiful, filled with compassionate people who want to do their best for others, but it comes with its challenges.  This is where innovation is key, yet doesn’t need to be complicated. When we really listen to those with lived experience who live and work across our region we can improve the quality of the lives of people who are dying so they don’t feel forgotten or scared to ask for help.

Everyone should have the opportunity to have their own Bucket List full of the things which are important to them, particularly when they know their time is limited. Worrying about heating costs, travel costs to a hospital 75 miles or more away, replacing vital white goods, buying new clothes due to weight loss or gain, childcare costs, or just making memories is challenging enough for the living but in a caring, compassionate community such worry and stress should never be part of dying with dignity.

I have taken the opportunity to talk to several elected members about what Manchester City Council has done regarding council tax for people in the last year of their life, and their response has been very encouraging.  

There will be those who will find reasons not to take this path to free up funds for the people who have limited time to live, and those reasons will probably be financial ones.  However, consider the costs of not doing this which are clearly listed in the Dying in Poverty Report. 

At A Listening Ear we will work with our local authority and communities to reach a place where we can enact what Manchester City Council has done. We will operate as we always do based on kindness and friendship putting the needs of people first and centre.

We can also help other rural communities like ours in Scotland replicate our work towards ensuring dying in poverty becomes a compassionate thread that runs through all of us.

Penny Halliday is the Founder and Chair of A Listening Ear Befriending